I've been living on coffee and nicotine

9 November
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My name is Lauren.I'm 15.I think thats all you need to know.

Azure Ray-"November

So I'm waiting for this test to end,
so that lighter days can soon begin;
I'll be alone, but maybe more carefree,
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly;

I was afraid to be alone,
but now I'm scared that's how I like to be;
All these faces none the same,
how can there be so many personalities?

So many lifeless, empty hands,
so many hearts in great demand;
and now my sorrow seems so far away,
until I'm taken by these bolts of pain;

But I turn them off, and tuck them away,
until those rainy days that make them stay;
And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs,
and the words still ring, once here, now gone;

And they echo through my head everyday,
and I don't think they'll ever go away;
Just like thinking of your childhood home,
but we can't go back, we're on our own;

Ohh. . .

But I'm about to give this one more shot,
And find it in myself, I'll find it in myself;

So we're speeding towards that time of year,
to the day that marks that you're not here;
And I think I'll want to be alone,

so please understand if I don't answer the phone;

I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls,
until I can see nothing at all;
Only particles, some fast, some slow,
all my eyes can see is all I know;

Ohh. . .

But I'm about to give this one more shot,
And find it in myself, I'll find it in myself;

Brush/texture credits:teh_indy,hecatesknickers,jeweledicecream,touchofdust,carbon_paper,http://pureanodyne.our-imagination.net/
a clockwork orange, acting, alanis morissette, alcohol, anti depressants, bisexuality, blocking my life out, blue hair, boobs, books, boots, caffeine, cam whoreness, camera whores, cameras, candy, cats, cds, cellphones, chai tea, charity, cheesecake, chewing ice, civil rights, clothes, clothing, colored hair, computer, concerts, courtney love, cuddling, cutting, dank, depressing lyrics, depression, distance, doritos, downloading music, drinking, duct tape, eating, emo, emo icons, fabric softener, family guy, feeling loved, figure drawing, free icons, fridays, futurama, garbage, gay marriage, gay pride, girls, good will, guitar, hair dye, hating, headphones, herbal tea, hole, hornyness, horror movies, hugging, icons, italian food, jimi hendrix, joints, judas preist, kamel reds, kinky sex, kissing, kurt cobain, laundry detergent, led zeppelin, lemonade, lesbians, liberty spikes, library, lipgloss, livejournal, livejournal icons, long talks, love, lyrics, many more..., metal, mohwaks, motley crue, movies, music, my parents leaving, nicotine, ozzfest, patrick, phone, phones, pictures, pigtails, pink floyd, politics, posters, pot, punk, purses, ranting, rats, raving, razorblades, reading, reading magazines, road trips, sensuality, sex, sex in the shower, sex pistols, sex with jake, sharpies, shopping, showers, singing, slayer, sleeping, sleeping in, snow, softball, sony ericson, spare change, stevie ray vaughn, stolen icons, studded belts, sublime, sweaters, system of a down, talking on the phone, tape, the adicts, the beatles, the donnas, the internet, the simpsons, thrift stores, trucker hats, tsunami bomb, video games, webcams, weed, writing songs, yogurt